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God present

All we end up is alone

A death admist the life

A dead end is where we all live

A choice to love you is a choice to say goodbye.

 

For at the very heart of it all

Lives our forever friend

Who eats all life

Bearing never mercy on a hurting heart

 

So if I were to claim you again

Would I save myself from the suffering just past?

Or would I be setting myself up for the hardest thing yet to come?

The forever disappearance of you

 

Gone forever my love

From life and all touch

Every moment we had turns sacred

No moment painful anymore

 

Just gifts

Each touch

Each shout

Each angry moment

Each unbearable agonizing fuck-up

Each ugly face we scowled at each other

Sacred

 

As the beauty we celebrated in

 

Every moment of bliss

Love beyond measure

A touch beyond all comprehension

 

A passion that runs deeper than all physicality

An attraction unbearable

Like the churning and crashing of a lightning storm

For you I came together

To storm

 

Forget the climb

Forget Babylon

Forget the Kingdom of Heaven

 

It was a wasted, romantic dream anyways.

 

The truth is that you and I were meant to Blaze to Ashes

Burn and crackle the fiery passion in our hearts.

 

Held back only by the dullness of our minds

Fears behind our eyes

Keeping our deepest urges behind bars

Locked like children afraid of the dark

Unsure like a toddler hiding behind her mothers legs

 

Fucked up the dream I created

Painful to the brim

Was the tension

The pressure

 

Needed to blow the cap of my wounded heart

Allowing me to grow, to practice, to fuel up and spew out

The love that wells so deeply inside

Ceased by the angry cry of my deepest hearts insistence

That I live my destiny

 

That I break the mold of conformity

Loosening the tightly held grip of insanity

Opening to the forever becoming of reality

Unbound by the bars

That held me once prisoner in my own mind-dulling haze

 

Free at last

From the blinding insight

Of lies told to me in my sleep

Sold to me through my dreams

Whispered in my ears

By fears taught to me in my crib

 

So long ago – I told myself it was

That I embedded the lies into the system

Programmed to build the pressure

Like a time bomb

Synchronized to perfection

 

Culminating in a raging inferno

Exploding like the volcano of apocalypse

Burning and shearing the veil

That hides the infinite brightness

 

A light so deep, without end

Without ceiling or floor

Without depth or shallowness

Without brightness nor contrast

Without space

Yet filled with nothing

 

Brimming with potential undefined

A source so empty it screams for release

To spew it’s sperm into creation

Ever ready

Ever fertile

 

Filling each inter space of the universe

Fooling all those blind to the veil

That all there that is is

 

But now I see

So clearly

Rocked to the core

Busted loose from every constraint that kept me blind

Propelled to a new space

 

Living in pure time

Each moment, every day

Alive

New

Unknown

 

And me

The observing

Standing

Watching

 

Breathless at the wonder of it all

 

Curious as to what it will all unfold into tomorrow

 

Happy that I know it will only be as good as this feeling

 

Alive

Breathing

Feeling the exquisite perfectness of it all

 

Deeply alive in gratitude

Utter appreciation for the magnitude of everything

 

Knowing that it all comes from the source behind the veil

 

That is me

 

God present.

 

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