Intimate relationships are not safe

“Of course, acknowledging our uncertainty brings up anxiety in the face of the unknown. We feel much safer when we think we have all the answers. But love between the sexes is, of all things, not safe. Intimate relationships are not safe! That is not their nature. They unmask and expose us, and bring us face to face with life in all its power and mystery, through contact with what is most different from us – an other. Unless we are willing to explore the unknown in ourselves, in the other, and in the relations between us, we will never advance very far along the path of love.

At first it seems unsettling to discover that love has no easy solution, that there is no simple remedy for the rawness of the heart that loving someone deeply opens up.  Yet once we give up seeking an easy way out, an important shift can take place.  Love’s rough edges can become a powerful resource, for they connect us more fully with our heart – that larger source of intelligence that can guide us through all uncertainties and complexities of relationship.  Through cultivating a taste for our rawness – which has a sweetness all its own – we invite our heart to show us the way.”

– From Journey of the Heart by John Welwood


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