11 Rules of Making Relationships Between Men and Women Work By Theun Mares

RULE 1:
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HAVING THIS PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

It takes two to tango, so stop trying to play the blame game. See your own role in, and your own contribution to, what is happening in your relationship (romantic, professional, etc.)

RULE 2:
DON’T TREAT THE OTHER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD A STRANGER.

Familiarity has a dreadful habit of breeding contempt! Therefore treat your spouse as you would a stranger; also your boss, your kids, your family and your friends. Always treat others politely and with respect, even if you have known them ever since pa fell off the bus.

RULE 3:
ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.

Acknowledge your shortcomings to yourself and remember that they are your passage to power and your ticket to freedom. Therefore stop trying to pretend you are not your potential. Instead of continuously justifying your behaviour, learn to listen. Most important of all, learn to listen to your heart, your feelings.

RULE 4:
ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE; FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.

Start giving yourself and those around you credit for what you and they are doing right. It is so easy to criticise, to break down, to point out failure. But how often do you praise either yourself or others for a job well done? We all need a pat on the head from time to time to keep believing in ourselves — even you!

RULE 5:
ACKNOWLEDGE GENDER ACCORDING TO ITS PROPER POTENTIAL.

If you are a man, then treat the women in your life as females and not as your mother. If you are a woman, then treat the men in your life as males and not as little boys.

RULE 6:
COMPRESS TIME.

Learn not to waste time through indulging in your behaviour. Instead, learn to communicate effectively by being open, honest and ruthless. Don’t assume that others can smell what you are silently stewing or fuming about.

RULE 7:
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND IN OTHERS.

Stop believing that everyone is out to get you. Practice the mirror concept and therefore acknowledge that others are there to help us and not to victimise us!

RULE 8:

Make allowances for the differences between males and females.

RULE 9:
LAUGH! LIFE IS FUN!

Learn to see your own actions, physical, emotional or mental, as well as those of others, for what they really are, namely, folly. If you do, you will find yourself laughing a great deal more than crying. People are really very funny creatures, and that includes you!

RULE 10:
KEEP A JOURNAL.

Life is the most important journey you will ever undertake, and every important journey should be carefully logged in a journal. If you do that, you will be surprised at how much you learn about yourself, about others and about life in general. Record everything, even your feelings, emotions, thoughts, dreams and, of course, the date. Dates tend to reveal patterns, like for example, feeling morose around Christmas time, or feeling happy in spring, etc. But the most important thing about keeping a journal is that, by writing everything down, you actually commit yourself to your decisions and therefore you start taking responsibility for your own life.

RULE 11:
BE REAL!

Make yourself and others real!

Excerpt from:  This Darned Elusive Happiness, by Theun Mares

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